My Name Is Not Atlin Merrick
A whole host of actors I adore have taken their clothes off for a role. They’ve kissed men, women, both, neither. They’ve said and done sexual things before the camera. And I know these actor’s names. They’re not ashamed of what they’ve done, because it’s what they want to do, it’s what they love.
I love writing. I do it for a living. I also love writing fan fiction. I don’t do that for a living, I do it for joy. I love writing profoundly sexual fan fiction and I’m not ashamed of it, I’m cock-crowing proud of what I do and how much I love doing it.
I started writing in the Sherlock fandom under a pseudonym because I was told I risked being sued if I didn’t. The thing is I’d already published under my own name a dozen pornographic stories in gay men’s magazines and anthologies. (See above, re: Proud.)
I’m tired of people shaming us for what we write and I’m tired of us acting as if we have to hide. I know some of us do—just as some actors and others feel they must hide being gay.
But those of us that don’t have to do that? I think it’d be awfully nice if we just came the fuck out, if we’d stand tall and represent for everyone else because we can.
I write as Atlin Merrick. I love being Atlin. I love it. But my name’s not Atlin, it’s not even close.
My name is Wendy Christine Fries and I write damn good Sherlock porn and if I ever, ever, and I mean ever meet Mark Gatiss—also a writer of porn—I’m going to hand him Suck and I’m going to park my chin in my palms and stare at him until he’s done reading and then I’m going to excitedly ask, “So? So? What’dya think, hu? What did you think?”
My name is Atlin Merrick. My name is Wendy Christine Fries. And I am so damned proud to be part of this fandom.
I wish I could be as brave as you, I’m getting there, but I’m not there yet.